If I Ruled The World
by Miss Puar
Summary: A power struggle between Lance and Pietro leads to a somewhat strange songwar.


Disclaimer: I don't know about you, but if I ruled the world, we wouldn't have to write these!

  
  


"IF I RULED THE WORLD"

(Scene opens on the Brotherhood House, where a power struggle is taking place.)

  
  


LANCE: (yelling) Who do you think you are?! You can't just march in here and take over!

PIETRO: (smugly) I-think-I-already-did.

FREDDY/TOAD: (carrying a sign labeled 'Pietro For Prez') Long live Pietro!

LANCE: (angry) They're only saying that because you bribed them with money.

TOAD: That's not true, yo.

FREDDY: Yeah, he gave us snacks, too.

PIETRO: Quiet-in-the-ranks!

FREDDY/TOAD: Yes, sir!

LANCE: I don't believe this! What about loyalty? What about all we've been through together? Doesn't that mean anything?

TOAD: Not really.

PIETRO: (wicked grin) Face-it-Lance. They-belong-to-me-now-and-with-them-I-shall-rule-the-world!

LANCE: Not if I rule the world first!

PIETRO: (laughs) Oh-come-on. A-peasant-like-you-doesn't-know-anything-about-being-in-a-position-of-power.

LANCE: Shows what you know! For your information, I've got it all planned out.

PIETRO: (smirks) This-I-gotta-hear.

(LANCE begins singing)

LANCE: (sings) If I ruled the world

Ev'ry romance would work out like it should

Ev'ry boy who was labeled 'just a hood'

would find a way to prove that inside he was good...

PIETRO: (speaking) Oh-please! What-kind-of-world-is-that?

LANCE: (dreamily) A wonderful world. 

PIETRO: You're-pathetic! I-can't-believe-the-Brotherhood-lasted-this-long-under-your-leadership-you-crazed-Casanova!

LANCE: (sticks out tongue) You just don't understand true love. The only person you ever cared for is yourself!

PIETRO: Of-course. Anyone-who's-anyone-knows-that-only-way-to-get-ahead-in-life-is-to-look-out-for-number-one!

LANCE: Number one being you, of course.

PIETRO: Naturally. Oh-it'd-be-perfect! Just-imagine-what-life-would-be-like-if-I-was-in-charge? 

LANCE: (shudders) I'm living it, but I'm not loving it.

(PIETRO begins singing)

PIETRO: If-I-ruled-the-world

Ev'ryone-would-know-my-name-and-know-fear

Ev'rybody-would-tremble-when-I'm-near

Mark-my-words-boys-my-glory-day-will-soon-be-here!

LANCE: (shakes head) That's incredible. Simply incredible.

PIETRO: (excitedly) My ideas?

LANCE: No, that in sixteen short years someone could develop such an ego! (laughs)

PIETRO: (angry) Grrr. Better-enjoy-it-while-you-can-Rockhead! Because-I-doubt-you'll-be-laughing-after-your-public-execution!

LANCE: Public execution?

PIETRO: Yes. Reviving-various-forms-of-punishment-is-part-of-my-plan-for-building-a-better-society.

LANCE: How? By eliminating everyone you don't like?

PIETRO: (shrugs) If-I-have-to.

TOAD: Is it just me, or is anyone else worried about the direction this conversation is headed, yo?

FREDDY: Personally, I'm more hungry than worried.

TOAD: I know how we can solve both our problems. I'll get Pietro's wallet...

FREDDY: I'll get Lance's car keys!

FREDDY/TOAD: And then we'll both get.. PIZZA!

(LANCE and PIETRO have now become so involved in their song war they are oblivious to everything that's going on around them.)

PIETRO: My-world-would-contain-evil-islands

Where-I-could-hatch-such-dastardly-schemes! 

LANCE: My world would have lush tropical winds

That could sweep you away to follow your dreams...

If I ruled the world 

Ev'ry moment would be spent with my true love

watching our lucky star shine up above

PIETRO: No-way-Lance! Not-if-I-ruled-the-world!

Ev'ryone-would-be-too-busy!

LANCE/PIETRO: Doing what they like best

LANCE: (Same time, different words) Being free!

PIETRO: (Same time, different words) Serving-me!

LANCE/PIETRO: If the day ever dawned when I ruled the world!

(Meanwhile at Mario Bros. Pizzeria...)

TOAD: Lance and Pietro sure are stupid!

FREDDY: Yeah... they're prob'ly still arguing!

TOAD: I know, man. And you know what the stupidest thing is- they were both wrong!

FREDDY: (nods in agreement) Right. Things would be much better if WE were in control.

TOAD: Tell me about it, yo.

FREDDY: Well, for starters, they're be more pepperoni on pizzas! Hey waiter!

THE END

  
  


Author's Note: Well, whaddya know, I'm back in business, even though I'm extremely annoyed at the WB jerks who decided Lance and Kitty should break up! Actually, I probably shouldn't blame Warner Bros. If a story sucks, you should blame the writer. (Unless the writer is me, of course!) 


End file.
